Mustache.

You know that part on 500 Days of Summer when he (he being the main guy) gets super sad and drinks lots of whiskey and eat too many Twinkies..? So he goes to the little market to buy more and while walking down the street yells to a couple holding hands, "Get a room! Seriously!" 
Well I kind of feel like that today. Everywhere on campus are couples holding hands and giving those sweet little kisses that make your day amazing. 
Can you all just go away, please? haha.


Anyway, I've officially completed my first week of school this semester and it's been great :) I'm overly happy to be back on campus and doing something. 


Not much else to say. Austin... can you please get here now?


Oh, in case you were wondering.
Currently reading: 
Eat Pray Love. 
Saw the movie- it was wonderful. Mom read the book a couple years ago and has been begging me to since she finished it. So I finally am :)
& all those darn textbooks. Gotta love 'em.
Currently listening to:
Phoenix & Emarosa.
Totally different styles of music, both absolutely amazing and beautiful. 

Piece it all together, now.

My family and I have been in Boise for about a week and a half now. Well actually, we live in Middleton. It's a super small town 40 minutes outside of Boise city and it's cute... but I cannot wait for the day that I can move downtown and live the city life again :]

Friday the 13th was Warped. Jake & Evan came over from I.F. and we all got to hang out over the weekend. It was such a good time, I really really miss those guys. I cant wait till they come back around!
Warped was freaking amazing this year! So much better than last. Here's who I saw:
The Cab
The Rocket Summer*
VersaEmerge*
The Summer Set
Emarosa*
Bring Me the Horizon
Pierce the Veil*
Haste the Day
Mayday Parade
NeverShoutNever*
-Those with stars are those who put on the best show, in my opinion.
Although I don't care for NSN anymore he put on a damn good show and almost made me like his music again :O

I just love music- everything about it. The lyrics, the instruments, the people who play, the passion and especially the scene that comes along with it :] Music makes me super happy.

I have something to tell you, but I dont know if you'll really believe it.
I dont entirely crave soda anymore. It's so odd. For as long as I can remember I've drank soda on a regular basis and here I am... just wanting something else.
I love it! I feel a lot better...

Classes start Monday and I'm overly excited for them :] I need something to do! It'll be great when school gets rolling and I find a job, I'll be so busy I can hardly wait!

How could I forget?! My bestest friend, you know... the one who's been there through thick and thin, he's finally moving to BOISE! :D Hopefully he'll be here around October and let me tell you once he's here I will be the happiest camper on the whole planet! It's been a year since I've seen him. A whole year. I cannot wait :]]


One last thing. A good friend of mine has a brother who's in a band. Please check them out! They're so good and I believe they have potential to be known even more than they are :]
http://www.myspace.com/mayweathertheband

Treasure Valley :]

So as of 30 seconds ago, all I was going to post was...
"Moving Day :] Helloooo Treasure Valley!"


Then Sophie came in from being outside with her mouth and two front paws covered in dirt.
She knows she's not supposed to be digging in that hole in the backyard!
Of course, I'm not mad. I just laugh :] Because the way she looks at you when she walks in the room is priceless.
Then I thought... thats kind of what it's like when you've been up to no good [like drinking or something] and you get home and your parents are wonder with a great amount of curiosity where you've been, who you've been with and what the hell have you been doing? 
So as of two minutes ago, that scenario was pretty funny for 8 in the a.m.
Maybe you'll read this at 4 in the afternoon and think, "This girl over analyzes too much."


haha Anyway, I'm overly excited to get out of this town again. The best part is, after everything is moved, I dont have to come back :]


But I thank all of you, everyone and anyone I met in Idaho Falls, for the great times & unforgettable memories. They will never be forgotten. You will never be forgotten. 
And if you're ever in Boise, call me. 
Lets hang :]

If I Ever Feel Better.

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control
They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away
You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...
No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after al
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away
Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

-I just found this band a few days ago. Been listening to them and they are my new favorite :]
Phoenix.
This song is called "If I Ever Feel Better."
I love it!


Take a listen, enjoy.

10 things you might not know about me.

Confession:
Justin Bieber is growing on me. 
Uh-oh. haha. I never liked him then at work one day I saw "Somebody to Love" on MTV and I was like "Whoa, thats a legit music video!" soooo... Now he and I, we're BFF. Yeah- its kinda cool ;]


Life is good. Simply good. I'm so overly excited for school to start! I'm excited to learn and focus on something that has nothing to do with my life. I know its going to be a lot more stressful this semester but I'm ready for it. Bring it on, professors. 


I was thinking today. And this is what I thought. 
Zack & I probably were made for each other. 
But somewhere along the way he made some choices that aren't ever going to benefit him in the long run. Because of that we aren't going to be together.
That might sounds contradicting but in my mind it makes sense.
The truth is, there's one flaw he has that if it wasn't there- I would have been with him for a long time. 
From day one I felt like I had known him forever. 


Anyway, enough with that!


Maybe you didn't know:
1. I love Sunflowers.
2. White Mochas are my favorite. They've passed up Pepsi :O
3. I believe in lucky pennies. If I find a penny that's not lucky, I turn it heads up for someone else :]
4. Sophie has come to be my best friend since I went away to school. I love my Sophie Girl.
5. I love arts & crafts. I might not be good at certain things but I'll do them anyway and it usually turns out alright! ;]
6. If I could be in a band and tour, I soooo would! I'd love to play the drums. 
7. I cant go to bed unless I've brushed my teeth. Clean, minty teeth is such a great feeling.
8. I've worn Vans since I was about... 3 :]
9. I love antiques. I love to decorate with a modern vintage chic feel. 
10. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I like to surround myself with peace. I avoid confrontation at times because of this. I can also be a pleaser. I believe these are both good and bad traits- just depends on the situation...

"When youre walking backwards,
don't be afraid to close your eyes.
Cause the truth is darling, 
everything will be alright."
-The Maine

AVA

Climbing trees and paper planes
Life as a kid we're all the same
Tears of joy, and sullen hearts
Sticks and stones and broken arms
And like one would, like a child
I'm asking
Like I could knock on your door
Will you let me in

And Dear god, I found out the same things we learn when we die
I found that the truth is, it's all a big lie
I find that the words are hard to describe
I tell you I'm lost here, awaiting reply.
I found out what's wrong, and its not you or I
Or anyone else that you chose to deny
It seems like the madness of choice in the life
Has made it all clear if we run or we hide

Sidney Kalani.

Over the past week I've had a lot of time to myself.
A lot of time to remember... me. There were things I had forgotten about that I loved.
Things have been a little tough but, surprisingly very eye opening and reminding.
Its so nice to be able to get back to your own roots. Your very very own.
Not your families and yours. Not your parents' and yours.
Just You.
I've been reminded that I love:
MUSIC.
Oh my goodness! Before I moved to Boise I imagined myself getting more involved with the whole music scene [once I got there]... you might find it odd considering I don't play an instrument or sing or even write music... but there is something about it that can dig deep inside and make you feel.. alive. 
Wait, I need to clarify. Not just music- the stuff that hardly anyone knows about. The songs and bands that are not played on the radio. Those smaller guys... They're the ones with the art that really gets to me.
Anyway, recently two of my favorite bands released new albums.
The Maine's Black and White
Rookie of the Year's The Most Beautiful
I love every single song on each one. Ah! So amazing. Go buy them both and listen because it'll make your day and week and month and year! 


READING.
I didnt really forget that I like to read... but damn, I finally have a little time for it. haha
Give me a really good book and I'll finish it front to back.
Right now I'm reading Charlie St. Cloud.
I am fascinated with this story! I cannot wait for the movie to come out- especially since Zac Efron is in it... ;]


THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE.
The other night I went running for an hour. 
It was 8:30 in the p.m. -right as the sun was about to set.
It was the most beautiful hour in a long time.
I had it all to myself.
The way the sunlight hit the wheat fields and colored the clouds... breath taking.
Guess what I thought about?
My Nikon :]] It's been so long since I've used him and while running I saw a thousand wonderful picture opportunities. From now on I will run with my camera! :] 
I've been told I have a good eye for pictures... That I notice the little things. Personally, I think that's what creates a great artist whether it be a photographer, painter, musician or whatever you can think of. 
Truthfully, it's the little things in life that keep it going.
If you start looking at the big picture and so far into the future it can really do some damage on your mindset. 
Maybe, that's just my personal opinion and experience but I still think it can apply to everyone. 


Other things would include animals [especially mine], crafty/artsy things,  God, my family, how badly I want to travel....
Lots of things.
I'd keep listing them but I'm outside Barnes and Noble and this dude just lit up a cigg and it freaking stinks and makes my head hurt. Ugh. 


Here's a question...



-Sid.

wet paint.

A wise man once said, "I'm the kind of person who can't just read the sign that says 'Wet Paint' - I have to touch it. And doing so it will comfort me and I will be certain thats it's wet... And if it is wet, well thats all it is. Paint on your finger. It comes off and life moves on..."


This wise man is my friend from Seattle. I met him while seeing This Providence and I'm very glad we became friends. He is helping me a lot in my life right now and I thank God for that... I thank him for that. Thank You :) 


The truth is, life isn't as great as I'd like it to be. 
I've been played, cheated and lied to. 
I miss how things were. At least how I thought they were.
I hate how so many things remind me of him. 
I've managed to create memories with him all over Boise and Idaho Falls... and I cant escape that.
I wake up alone in my bed and think of those weeks we spent every night together and how I'd wake up to his beautiful eyes, flawless smile then gentle kiss. I think of how I wanted to spend every morning like that... because it appeared to be absolutely perfect.
Knowing I cant just sit in my bed all day because thats no good for me, I get up. I start my day and everythings ok. 
When it comes time for me to go to bed it when it hurts. 
I lie down and because I dont have to work or do chores or anything to keep my mind busy- I think of him. And I cry.


So anyway... 
thats that.
I'm looking for the positive in everything and putting my best foot forward.
There's no point in sitting around sad for weeks and months. 


"Live in the sunshine,
Swim in the sea,
Drink the wild air."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

You Ruined This.

this song describes it perfectly...


you're not, you're not.
i don't think you're coming clean.
i won't, i won't, i won't let you lie to me.
never felt so alone.
it's funny how things go.
guess we'll never know.

i took you back tonight,
hoping that you weren't the same.
this won't ever be alright,
can't believe a word that you say
i give you tonight.

don't tell me you ruined this, 'cause you're scared.
now i know that you're foolish,
for every minute you wasted,
i will tear all apart what is left of this
'cause baby, you ruined this.

so stop and think, will you ever be happy?
no, you won't. there is just no fool in me.
never felt so alone, it's funny how things go.
guess we'll never know.

i took you back tonight,
hoping you weren't the same.
this won't ever be alright.
can't believe a word you say.
i give you tonight.

don't tell me that you ruined this, 'cause you're scared.
now i know that you're foolish
for every minute that you wasted.
i will tear apart what is left of this.
'cause baby you ruined this.

and i took you back tonight,
but this won't ever be right.
i took you back tonight

don't tell me that you ruined this, 'cause you're scared.
not i know that you're foolish.
for every minute you wasted.
i will tear this apart what is left of this.
'cause baby you ruined this.

'cause baby i ruined it from the sin of your kiss.
i'm so foolish for all the years we wasted.
you can stare in the dark,
and there's nothing there.
'cause baby you ruined this

I bet you'd forgotten about me! ;]

Getting to the point rather quickly... Summer has been amazing so far. 

From the day I was finished with the semester till the last day of May I got to really sincerely enjoy summer. It was how I've always wanted summer to be. 

Each day consisted of Zack, Chase (his best friend since the age of 3 who has become a great friend of mine), Chris (another friend of the two) and Soph. 

We rode bikes, made up funny games, played Ping Pong, stayed up 'too late' and slept in till noon time. 

If it wasn't raining, we were outside. 

Every night was a sleep over with my boy and when I wake up next to him, my heart smiles. 

Despite everything we've been through, he makes me so happy. 

Anyway :]

One of the funniest nights was when we went camping. It was only a one-nighter and consisted of the 4 of us plus Bobby (Zack's old roommate)... Oh, and Soph. As soon as we got up by Bogus we set up camp and built a fire. Bobby made the drinks and distributed them. Sophie was dying on her leash so I had a little faith and let her off. She was a good girl and stayed around camp... At some point she smelled something in a little whole. Being the terrior she is, she dug a 4-5 foot trench in the middle of camp! haha It was hilarious!

Chase brought small mallows to make smores with and damn it I was determined to make one! I went out and found myself a little twig to roast them on and while doing so the Rain God thought it would be funny to have a sudden down-pour upon us! That didn't stop me! While the guys rummaged around camp gathering stuff and flying into the biggest tent I tried to make one... and it didn't work only because of the tiny marshmallows!

We all ended up pretty wet from the storm but let the fire attempt to dry us out for a couple hours. Why is it so great to sit around a camp fire with your great friends? I think as of today it's one of my top ten, if not five, favorite things to do. 

Tanner came to Boise to help me move back to I.F. I wasn't home 24 hours and we took off to Utah. We've been here a week and it's been so nice to see family again. Tomorrow we'll be headed back to home and reality. 

Right now, reality isn't my best friend. 

But I learn and go forward with life. 

That's the thing about me... I'm the kind of person who has to do something and learn from it to actually change or make a habit. I can't just read the sign that says "Wet Paint" and go on with life. I have to touch the wet wall. So odd... 

Here's a few pics from summer 

Oh, reading list for summer:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass [Almost done with it!]

Everything by Donald Miller

That's all. But you should know there are about four books from Donald Miller to read!

My few first days of summer have been epic. Absolutely wonderful and relaxing!

Lets start with Thursday... went to Zack's tennis match out in Eagle. While driving back we turned up the radio and danced in the car! Then we got stuck in traffic. Still sitting in our seats Zack asks, "Should I get out and dance?" I said, "YEESS!" So he jumped out into the still traffic and danced. It was hilarious!! A few minutes after he gets back in the car some high school kids two cars behind us get out, run up to our car and start dancing! Zack jumps back out and joins them! People were laughing and honking their horns! It was the best way to start off summer!

*While typing that I found a dead, flattened fly on the top of my keyboard. haha YUCK!

Friday consisted of an awesome bike ride and playing at the park. It was chill :)

Saturday: Meet Zack for his lunch break. Afterwords Soph and I went to Camel's Back and hiked around then to the top! I love being outside :]] 

At the top of Camel's Back!

Fun fact: People in Boise go tanning at the parks. Its sooo odd to me! haha Or some like to pitch tents at the parks... The weird thing is- it doesnt look redneck/white trash to me!

Anyway, later that evening I hung out with Zack and his friends. After a few drinks we played ping-pong then invented the funniest game ever!! I'd explain it but we'll just have to hang out and actually play it! :] Then we saw Hot Tub Time Machine. Dont see it. Super lame. Super dude movie. :|

I love sunshine, My dog, Pepsi, Shorts & Tanks, this boy...

and my yogurt I'm eating at this moment. 

Sophie wants some...

"Live for today, we'll dream tomorrow."

-Anberlin

Finals.

Yes, it's finals week.
I didn't think it would be that stressful... boy I was wrong!
I'm discovering what's good and bad for you.


The Good Stuff:
Healthy food like yogurt and salads and actual 'home-cooked' meals. 
Water. 
Music from Brian Eno. 
Walks with your dog.
Soaking in hot baths.
Shopping. A little shopping is always motivating... ;]]
Breathing... In and out.


The Bad Stuff:
Foods such as popcorn, Crumb Donettes, and 'pre-cooked' things.
Pepsi. Too much Pepsi. 
Putting off studying which leads to...
Sitting inside stressing over everything.
Facebook: so distracting.




Oh, and by you... I mean me. 
:]

Indiana.

For my 19th Birthday, Momma got me a rabbit :]]
Meet Indiana. Or Indy for short!

This is his litttle home :] Soon it will be painted- I'm still deciding on colors.

He's so adorable and I just have the biggest crush on him :]] haha...

Stuff.

Finals are coming up and I just want them over with. Then again, who doesnt? I put off studying on Monday- regretting that now. I feel like I'm cramming but I have five days left :\


Oh! Friday night was This Providence, The Audition, The Bigger Lights, & We is He. 
I wont lie to you..
This Providence was the only good one live. Their singer is so damn fine and their music blows me away. New favorite band for sure!
The Audition was ok... The Bigger Lights remind me too much of The Summer Set (preppy and naive) and We is He- not too bad but definitely not amazing. 


I must go to bed. Class is early and I've lived today off six short hours of sleep.


"You set me on fire
Now we're walking on a wire baby, a wire baby
You, I waste myself on you
You, I do anything for you
Waste myself on you."

-This Providence

Mormonism.

I got this off my friends' facebook status... I thought it was pretty funny :)) and true!

"Mormon culture can be confusing... tattoos = bad, boob jobs=perfectly acceptable; caffeine= bad, but health supplements WITH caffeine and other ingredients=GOOD; alcohol = bad, high doses of anti-depressants=good."

I think this is the part 
when I'm supposed to cry
and cry
and cry
until my eyes are red. 


But nothing is coming out.
I just feel numb. 

Crystal Baller

Listening to: Third Eye Blind (They're my favorite lately.)
Just got off the phone with my pop. I do miss him so. I think the last time I saw him was... Christmas? If that? Ugh. It's been a while. And I miss Jade and being our silly girly selves together: Eating junk food, driving around with the window down- singing at the top of our lungs. 
I need summer-- so badly. I'm ready to work and play and play and... did I mention play? :]
This summer I will:
Be outside as much as possible & get an awesome tan. 
Ride my bike as much as possible.
Play with my animals as much as I can. 
Get some wonderful girl time with my momma.
Make some of the best memories with my amazing friends. 
It will be unforgettable.
The way summer should be. 
I will also continue to learn how to take life one day at a time. 


Although I will admit- spring is so beautiful. It makes me beyond happy and peaceful.
I love the smell of the blooming flowers and the crisp clean fresh air. 
If it weren't for spring, I wouldn't have the motivation to finish each semester.
Oh, I love riding my bike to class.


Keep Calm & Carry On.
Sid

Z.T.

I've never been able to tell someone, "You're my everything" and fully truly mean it. 
Tonight I said it and I am beyond the happiest I have ever been. 
I wish I could describe to you what I am feeling, even give you a glimpse would be fantastic.
If I could throw it all into one photo- I'd post it on here and you would see my love.
How my heart is on fire but also feels like a light cloud. 
It's skipping beats but has managed to stop altogether. 
You make me laugh more than anyone has ever managed to.
I can be in the worst mood until you're standing on my doorstep- seeing your smile makes me forget everything negative. 
The way my hand fits perfectly in yours makes it seem like nothing bad could ever happen. 
The thought of you makes me smile, and a kiss sends a giant grin from ear to ear.
You make me feel content, peaceful, happy, special, and beautiful. 
You even make my dog happy thats how amazing you are!
Your family is the one of the strongest, most incredible families I have ever met. I'm so glad I've been able to share stories and experiences with you- so we can learn and grow from them. 
In the beginning there was this doubt and I really think it has brought us closer together in a grand, complicated way.
I'm not sure how my future will turn out. All I know is I want you there. 
I'm so excited for everything that's to come for us. 

"I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned. And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzled pieces from the clay."

-The Postal Service

It's more convincing to hear song birds sing.

Listening to: The Audition

Today is, quite simply, one of those 'blah' days. 

I'm not happy. I'm no sad or depressed. I don't feel like smiling but I also don't feel like crying. I don't want to kiss him. I do feel slightly productive (I actually want to do my homework). 

I'm just here. 

Sophie loves walks. 

Between 3 and 4 in the afternoon she gets antsy and gives me this look like "Sid- we're going today... aren't we?" Similar to Pongo on 101 Dalmatians, when he changes the time on the clock. 

I love taking her for walks. 

Gives me a little time to just breathe and relax. I think about all I have to do or think about nothing at all. 

While watching a video about the Balinese in Anthropology, a religious leader quoted this: 

"Uncontrolled change can destroy peace."

I like that. 

The Sunshine State :]

First, I'm going to state that I'm copying Karley and telling you what I'm listening to before I write. So here we go...


Listening to: Dave Matthews


For spring break Mom, Brent, Tanner and I went to Calif! :D It was a great trip- as always. Five days in Disneyland and a couple at the beach.. it doesnt get any better than that! While there I realized how much I really want to live closer to the ocean. 
The ocean is such a beautiful place, both on the surface and underneath. Those who live near it now are very incredibly lucky! One day it'll be me... one day. 
When I got back and saw Zack again, it was like the first time I saw him and my heart stopped but managed to skip beats and I got butterflies like crazy. I was a happy girl to say the least. Oh, can't forget the awesome bonus with that visit: I got daisies :]] I love it when he surprises me like that :D 
I must admit it's nice to be back in Boise and doing my normal routine although, it felt really weird doing homework and stuff. I totally forgot how some teachers have certain routines and quizzes online so it was kind of a slap in the face! haha "Remember Sid, this isn't high school!" ;]
Still working on taking life one day at a time. When I'm used to having my life roadmap all planned out it's tough to rip a piece (or all of it) apart and just trust God. 
Summer is getting closer and I'm beyond excited! I think we're down to 4 weeks of school left! Do you know what's even closer..? MY BIRTHDAY! :D woowhoo!
Anyway- to see pics from Calif check out my facebook (like always) 


Keep calm & carry on.
Sid

(OvO)

Woo'lert

n. 1. (zool.) The barn owl.

Look how beautiful and delicate this animal is. 

I can't get over it. 

Have a Little Faith

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own things..."
Matthew 6:34


I'm reading the book Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom. 
Actually, I had been reading it before I moved to Boise and after I did- I didn't really pick it up! Sad, I know. 
So today I started reading again and was reminded of how beautiful this book is. I really love Mitch Albom as an author. He's truly inspiring! 
This scripture above was quoted in it- I love it. 
The ironic thing is I've been worrying about my summer and the following semester so much- its ridiculous! 
Obviously, I am the kind of person who likes to know what's going to happen in my future. Not a play by play in one single day (ex) 7:40 Wake up, eat, shower, be out the door by 8:30.. go to class then at noon eat lunch, 12:30 hang out with Zack until 4... take Sophie for a walk at 4:15... you get the just of it, right? haha I'm already tiring myself being that organized and timely! 
Anyway- I like to know where I'll be in 6 months. What school I'll be going to, my physical location, my major. Things like that. The past week or two have definitely thrown of my 'plan for the future' and it started to bother me. 
I'm learning I just need to let go, and if something isn't as perfect as I want it to be then that's okay. 
This is also quoted from that book. Maybe it'll inspire you to read it? :)

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1975 

     "A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'

The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man. Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley. Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly. 

     So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed. He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in the tarpaulins. He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry. 

     And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm."

     My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm. 

     And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete." 

Two Weeks.

Thats all I really have to say. 
Two weeks. 
:]]
And I really really want my tattoo. 

Jump. Deep. Crush.

Have you ever just jumped into something...
now you're in it so deep you feel like you can't get out? 
Or even back off a little...
You wouldn't trade it for the world but at the same time you know you could get crushed. 


Again. 


I'm feeling numb but at the same time I just want to break down and say screw it. 
Whatever happens, happens. 
I don't want to be the one who puts my all into it because the last/one time I did,
my heart was shattered.
And although I don't want to admit it, he still chips at my heart sometimes. 
Yes I am over you. I do not want you that way I had you. 
But there's little things you do that just make me want to hate you. 


Anyway- dont know what the hell is going on in my mind or my heart but this seems to be it. 




22 Days. 
Yeesss :]




"Hear what the silence screams."

-Anberlin

Four Weeks.

This morning I woke to rain.
I made myself some crispy bacon, whole wheat pancakes, and a white chocolate latte. 
After eating I made it up to my room, sat, listened, and drank. 
I sat on my bed thinking of all the things I need to do today. I've been putting off a lot of my school work this week- time to catch up.
I listened to the rain, cars drive by, and Rogue Wave. They are great music- check 'em out! How could I forget... I also listened to Sophie moan and groan as she does in the mornings when she wakes... it makes me laugh. 
I drank my latte and though of the goodness in each sip. Mom was right when she said, "Coffee is the sweet nectar of the Gods." haha

Life is great, amazing. I am so beyond blessed! I might say that a lot but I think the whole world should know God has made my life so beautiful and I thank Him so so so much for that.

Oh, I'm leaving for California in four weeks. 

Actually, in four Saturdays, I'll be in Disneyland :]]

I cannot explain my excitement!

"You see through the dark
Right past the fireflies that sleep in my heart."

-Vampire Weekend

P.S.- The Cab's new album will be released late spring! :D :D yyyaaayyy!

Perfection.

Things can appear perfect, 
but you should know they are not. 
I believe there's no such thing as perfection. 
Now I don't mean someone or something cant feel perfect- I think when one is in that very moment it all seems so blissful and amazing.
I hate it when people call me perfect- because I know I am not...
And eventually they will find my flaws and although they may still love me, they'll realize I am not perfect.
I dont even know if this makes sense or why I am talking like this but my heart is feeling down and I want to go home and see my little brother and Scrappy and Allie and my horse Dakota and my momma. I need that small amount of encouragement... that no matter what everything will be okay. They are the only ones that can totally fulfill that need. 

VDay :]

     For Valentines, Zack and I went downtown and I got to play with my Nikon. I haven't had the opportunity to go take pictures yet so it was the perfect timing and so much fun! I also got a TON of great shots but don't feel like posting them all on here- like I've said before, you can check them out on Facebook!

     After taking pictures we went to this delicious Italian restaurant called Asiago's. Very classy place! :] Then we just chilled and watched movies the rest of the night. It was perfect because it wasn't overdone but it wasn't, "Here's a rose and a box of chocolates." He went out of his way to make the day unique :] Oh, and he got me 3 of these V-neck shirts I had been eyeing, I was thrilled!

I love this B&W building one 

     He makes me so incredibly happy and spoils me more than anyone ever has. I am truly blessed to have Zack in my life! 

"I'll be your love- If you've got none to give, know I'll give twice as much. And I'll be your trust- if the world lets you down, know that I'll be enough."

-The Rouge